Life goes on
I’m forcing myself to write something today. It’s been a few weeks since I wrote anything and I want to have a documentation of what this early season of motherhood is like. Writing sometimes feels like a burden but when I go back and read past posts I’m thankful to be able to sneak back into those feelings and thoughts and re-experience them.
The last few days Ellie has slept 10 hours at night! Of course I have fed her during that time but she hardly wakes up for feedings. I have been going to bed around 10 and Drew stays up with her till about 3 and then we switch and I usually sleep on the nursery floor on a camping pad set up. Last night we tried something different. She still went out with him till about 2 AM so that I could get some good sleep where I wasn’t “responsible” for her. Then she came into the bedroom with me and slept in her stroller (it’s been working the best) right next to me. She kinda woke up to feed twice but went right back to sleep after eating. It was the first night I slept the whole night in my bed in over a month and it was so nice! Drew slept on the couch and he said he got an amazing night sleep too. yay for everyone sleeping!
I’ve been walking everyday, usually with both Xion and Ellie. I feel like I have two adventure buddies now (Ellie and Xion). Drew and I will do evening walks with the babies (Ellie and Xion) but he doesn’t really want to go twice a day with me. We’re up to about 1.5 miles in the morning and maybe half a mile at night. I also did a 5 mile bike ride today. Day 1 of training for Washington 70.3 Ironman! woohoo!
I am surprised when people say things to me like “oh wow you’re already out of the house at only 5 weeks post partum (pp)!?”. Like…yes…duh. It’s been 5 weeks! I’ve been out of the house many times. Why is that weird? She’s been doing so well and I’m healing really well that I’m ready to get back into the real world. It’s been really nice to take some client appointments and feel a sense of normalcy. In real life I’m an active person. I have lots of energy and I enjoy being out and about and going on adventures. I think Ellie will be like that too.
Ellie is holding her head up really well. She seems to like baths. She is dealing with gas daily but he wonderful daddy is good at helping her work through that with bicycle kicks. I can already tell that Drew is going to be the fun parent and I’m gonna be the parent that makes sure sh*t gets done. She is growing so fast already! At her one month check up she had grown 2 inches which put her in the 94% for height. She was also 10 lbs 5 oz compared to her 2 week appt which was 8 lbs 5 oz.
Drew and I are working on our communication around expectations of what life looks like with a baby now. I’ll find myself super frustrated with him and then evaluate why am I upset and realize that I have certain expectations (that of course I haven’t communicated to him), about getting things done around the house and when he doesn’t meet my standard I get really irritated. This happened the other night when we did our 2 AM switch and Ellie had been asleep the whole evening. The kitchen was a mess and Drew had spent the evening playing computer games. I was super frustrated. The next day when emotions weren’t high (and both of us had slept) I told him how I felt about it and we talked it out and made a plan for the future to avoid that situation as much as possible.
I heard somewhere that people report less satisfaction in their relationships after a baby is born. One of the reasons sited is that most conversations revolve around logistics of running a house and not on connecting with the other person. On our evening walks we’re trying to truly connect. It’s surprisingly not easy to find things to talk about that don’t revolve around baby, Xion or the businesses. But we’re trying and that’s what matters!
